Hike SF

Stepping off the bus and into the Candlestick parking lot, coworkers fanned out to their cars, safe from street sweeping ticks another day. I emerged with them, but broke from the pack, and soon was plodding up Jamestown avenue.

For the first time, I was so far off the edge of my map that I didn’t know if I was even going in the right direction. A familiar billboard became my beacon, and I eventually found Bayshore.

Cackling and staggering men offered me warm, canned cerveza. A noodle-armed teenager requested a cigarette, then offered an ass kicking. A hastily scrawled sign offered “FREE SAND.”

Outer Mission is such a generous neighborhood.

Choosing to avoid the tramps’ camps under the Caesar Chavez interchange, I climbed into Potrero and eventually towards General. It was only when I returned home that I realized I’d finished the first page of my book. God damn.

On Bonnie Brae in the Outer Sunset, two birds fervently guard their nest. Passing within ten feet once was a transgression. Passing twice was unforgivable.

Taking turns, they swooped at my head, screeching and scratching. Ducking, I turned onto Country Club Drive. They followed. In fact, they continued to follow for at least half a block until I received some advice from a neighbor.

Giving a knowing glance, he put down his trash bag and gestured with flailing arms. I followed suit, and the parents quit diving at least. But they followed for blocks, flitting from house to house, aggressively cawing and beating their wings.

If birds could learn lessons, I would have gone back to take the eggs.

Off Bayshore a ramp leads up to a bricked tunnel entrance titled “Morris Olson Tunnel” and dated 1949. Long since replaced by a pedestrian overpass and pointless to sweep, the dead entrance attracts piles of garbage.

So who was Morris Olson, and what did he do to deserve a tunnel? If Google reflects the world’s collective memory, Morris is lost to oblivion. Only photos of the bricks and passing blog comments mention the tunnel, and nothing mentions the man. Even the camera van had a bad day when it passed the tunnel.